About Me

mom of three, wife of one, baker, quilter, coffee drinker.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Digging myself out

This morning i heard a song on the radio that really struck a chord.
I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned
Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions
Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

I have been in a tizzy, thought stew, mental tornado this past month (or so - 29 1/2 years?? he he). I am feeling stressed and caught in the spin cycle. I am questioning my present situation - am i happy at work? Am i working towards my dreams? Am I living my own life?

I asked the question/ voiced my "complaints" to a handful of close friends this weekend to get feedback and was given some good/different perspectives by a few good friends. Some feedback was surprising and previously unrealized, but needed. Some pointed out the obvious thoughts that i have been struggling with - i.e. put words in my mouth that i could not find..

I have had a few options kicking around in my head that are "practical career options" but Ryan suggested that i start moving towards what I often talk about. Ryan told me that I need to do what I need to do. And that if it costs money, then we'll spend money to make sure that I am happy.He suggested that I try out an entrepreneurship course and learn about setting up my own business. (Whether sewing or organizing related)

Today I re-visited the Prof. Organizers of Canada Webpage and found that the Calgary Chapter is meeting on November 1st. I am going to make a point of attending that meeting, to get more information. I cannot be afraid. They also have web based seminars that are quite inexpensive.

On a lighter note - I finished another baby quilt. Photos to come. I decided that before i start Ryan's hockey quilt I am going to make a few things for myself, so i started my "comfy cozy" skirt on Sunday afternoon. I just need to put in a waist band and hem the bottom. It is stretchy and knitted and purple, and will be awesome to curl up in at home. It is too ugly to wear in public, but the fabric was practically free. (3.99 at goodwill)

Okay, now that i have somewhat caught up and cleared my mind, i can get back to work for another hour, and then, only then, can i go home.

No comments: